There is a difference between simply "being able to ask" and "ask gracefully".
Sometimes asking gracefully means saying less.
Or saying nothing.
You can move your mouth to ask, but what is the rest of your body saying? What is the message behind the words? Everybody knows how it feels to be asked in a way that creates discomfort, wether the asker is a drunk homeless person on a street corner or the naked person in bed beside you.
'Can we have sex? It's been a month'
'Could you spare any change?'
Both can be asked with a sense of trust and graciousness, or with a sense of force and gracelessness.
Anthony once told me: 'It isn't what you say to people, it's more important what you do with them. It's less important what you do with them than the way you're with them.'
em The Art of Asking, de Amanda Palmer
